the.com/wooden spoon

the only utensil that doubles as a weapon parents never actually use anymore

sound proofWon't scratch pots or set off taste-killing metallic clangs
heat heroWon't melt or burn your hand like metal
loser's prizeAwarded last-place finishers in British competitions
bacteria mythWood naturally kills germs better than plastic
ancient kitEgyptians carved them over 4,000 years ago
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